Where to start...

I met Ange online around March 2009. When we first started talking, I didn't know what she looked like...but through her words, I knew she was beautiful. I didn't know where things would go...but I knew it could be beautiful.

For the past year, we have been talking online, through emails, texts, on the phone, on MSN with the webcam.... anyway we could figure out to talk and be with each other, we did. At the end of October, she flew across the world to be with me. She stayed here with me for a week and then we went to BC together for two weeks so she could meet my family. It was the best three weeks of my life and saying goodbye to her at the end of it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I had never been in love before her. I was in love with her before we even met in person...and even more so after we did.

The past two and half months since she's been gone have been...emotional. I've cried almost every day since she left. The days have gotten harder and harder to face...knowing she's there and I'm here. Discussions about moving to Australia...the visa process...the money it will take...have taken over. But we said that if we could get through this, we could get through anything. We said that we'd always be together. We said that we'd do what it took...because we knew that we shared one heart.

But the frustration and stress of the situation has taken it's toll...and yesterday, we said goodbye to each other. I didn't want to. I don't think she did either...but a person can only take so much heartache. I feel like I'm the one to blame. When things got stressful, I pushed her away instead of getting closer. Instead of talking, I became silent. Instead of kind words, I took out my frustrations on her. And now she's gone. And I don't want to live without her. :'(

My first instincts were to lay down and cry. To never get up again. My first thoughts were that I didn't care anymore...about anything. But I do care. So much. I care about her and I can't just give up. Not on life and not on finding her again. She's the other half of me...my heart isn't whole without hers. And so I'm going to do what it takes to get to Australia...to try and win her back...

...and I may need your help.